Losing the Baby Weight

 This is so frustrating. I wish I could just cry but I can’t make myself to do it. I was doing so well barely eating anything, then we went out for lunch and I had some breaded fish but veggies and maybe a lot of crackers but then shot back up to 192.2 today. I should have continued the diet but I’m so upset I ate like 5 Oreo cookies, rice, the leftover fried fish and chicken. Nothing after that because I’m so nauseous. And I’m worried I’m not weaning properly because my breasts are still very heavy and they’re starting to hurt so I bought some cabbage to help with the weaning so that I don’t get engorged.  Also I’m really upset that flow 93.5 is no more. I thought it was all moving as is to the new station but none of the morning people or the DJ moved over, so it’s not the same. And I was really enjoying my morning drive with their mix it was always soooooo good. The new station is terrible. The music is all over the place and the hosts sound generic. I didn’t listen much be...

 So I’m doing good weight wise even though I haven’t always been good food wise lol. On Friday I ate three Oreo cookies and a bunch of crackers (can’t remember what I ate for dinner, it was probably light) but then I spent an hour or so cleaning the basement and doing lots of lifting and walking. It’s been 3 days of 5,000+ steps and I’m very happy. Maybe all that contributes to my weight loss! It kind of stalled for a bit but I kept going. I’m so excited to think I could finally be back in the 180s this week. It’s crazy to think how much I need to do to lose a couple pounds a week but then I was pregnant I’d put on 7 pounds in a week (okay sure growing a baby but not all that is baby). I’m also ready to stop pumping, so I’m slowly decreasing. I’m hoping I’m a couple weeks I’ll be totally done. It’s bittersweet but I hope it helps me lose weight faster. I feel like the weight is sticking because I’m lactating, even though for most women the weight melts off. I was not so lucky....

 I seriously haven’t been cheating that bad but I’m stuck on this weight. When I weigh myself without clothes I’m 191.8 but I need the scale to show that when I have clothes on. It’s so frustrating. I have like one cheat BITE of food and the weight sticks to me.  I’m also dealing with a food aversion with my daughter. So now I have to try and make the dinner table a happy place so that she’ll eat at home again. Fuck me im a fucking failure.