192.2 but FML

 This is so frustrating. I wish I could just cry but I can’t make myself to do it. I was doing so well barely eating anything, then we went out for lunch and I had some breaded fish but veggies and maybe a lot of crackers but then shot back up to 192.2 today. I should have continued the diet but I’m so upset I ate like 5 Oreo cookies, rice, the leftover fried fish and chicken. Nothing after that because I’m so nauseous. And I’m worried I’m not weaning properly because my breasts are still very heavy and they’re starting to hurt so I bought some cabbage to help with the weaning so that I don’t get engorged. 

Also I’m really upset that flow 93.5 is no more. I thought it was all moving as is to the new station but none of the morning people or the DJ moved over, so it’s not the same. And I was really enjoying my morning drive with their mix it was always soooooo good. The new station is terrible. The music is all over the place and the hosts sound generic. I didn’t listen much because I really just want urban and r&b. I started listening to flow back in 2001, I was still a teen driving to work and it’s always been the #3 spot on my preset stations. 

Now I’m listening to music from the 90s and early 00s feeling down. 

I thought my husband would wish me happy Valentine’s Day but he didn’t. Didn’t even send me a picture like I asked. I told him I wanted something but he didn’t do anything for me. And yesterday he was texting his friend who he likes more than he likes me and I became so jealous. He was starting to tell me a story but then he texted him so he stopped talking to me and replied to his text. I can’t compete. I can’t blame him I’m a really horrible person. I regret so much of my life. I never should have had my daughter. She makes me so happy but I hate sharing her with him and his family. But I can’t handle her on my own so I don’t know what I want. Truthfully I wish I could just fall asleep and wake up tomorrow. I’m so over today.

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