Losing the Baby Weight

 Whenever I cheat a little, I cheat a lot. Luckily the last horrible chest day didn’t do too much damage, because I’m able to not eat for the rest of the day. On Friday I had a breakfast meal at McDonald’s and a bunch of cookies, but then didn’t eat the rest of the day. I bought appetite suppressant off Amazon and I feel like it’s working, I am not as hungry as I usually am and don’t have horrible cravings. So hopefully I can keep at it. I’m basically starving myself but I’m desperate to lose this weight. I just need to get to 150, then if I can keep going to 145 that’s where I’ll try and stay. It’s so hard. 

 So I’m making such good progress, but these reduced calories make me SO hungry! So I ate easily 600 calories worth of goldfish crackers. Seriously what is wrong with me. I just need more vegetables at home so that I can eat low cal foods when I’m hungry. I’ll have to not eat anything tonight so that I don’t ruin my progress. 

 So I bought some mini rice cakes and I’ve been snacking on them all day. Then I had a couple handfuls of honey shreddies. I’m pretty good otherwise, but I need to have more sliced veggies in the fridge to just grab and eat, or maybe I need to not snack so much. When I get down to 187 I’ll have a cheat meal then start counting calories again. Measuring and counting. I bet losing the 10 between 187 and 177 will be very difficult.  The other thing that worries me is sometimes when people lose a lot of weight they still don’t look that different and still look big, and I’m worried that it’s going to be me. I want to look as good as I send to when I was 166, which I thought was fat but is way better than now. 

 That’s what I saw on the scale while I was nude, I’m so happy. I just wish all weight loss was linear and consistent and we never faced plateaus, although I know it’s coming. I spent a ton of money on vegetables since that’s all I’m eating these days, and it’s good. Now that LO is in daycare I only need to worry about two snacks and one meal during the week, it’s been really good to just lounge around and watch TV and catch up on work knowing she’s happy and being fed and stuff. 

 I’m down to 195.1! That’s the lowest I’ve been in a while, and not too far off from the lowest I’ve been from my recent weight loss attempt. I’m hoping this is the start of good progress. Once I get down to 187 it’s my celebratory meal! Then more dieting lol. 

 So I totally could not diet, and am back up to 197. I weighed myself and am now 195.9. I’ve been dieting for three days and no cheating, I’ve come close but have out the treats away. I’ve had a few small spoons of rice, and a new tahini dressing is high in calories but other than that no sugar, starches or bad carbs. I’m going to allow myself a cheat meal every 10 pounds but I’m not going to have sugar because it’s too addictive. Or maybe we go out every 10 pounds. So once I get to 187 I’ll treat myself to one meal. We haven’t bought any junk so I haven’t been able to be be tempted so that’s good.  I was trying to find an online community but there isn’t really anything, so I’ll Probably just try and post here to get my thoughts out and to try and stay accountable.